Don't Ignore The Process

How do you know you like someone? How do you know what you are feeling is worth the effort and time to let that person know? How do you know it's not a severe case of lust and idealism? How do you know you aren't making something out of nothing? Making more of what isn't?

You want to believe that because he talked to you, and you were laughing that he's into you. You want to believe that he values your friendship so he secretly wants you. You want to believe that because he hugged you that one time or he talked to you that one time or he looked at you that one time that all signs are saying go, and that it's time to pounce. But is that really all we get? A look, a conversation, a laugh? These mundane activities that we participate in day in and day out are the things that are supposed to dictate what we do and how we approach the opposite sex?

Now some would say its not just those things; it's also about the chemistry that you feel with a person, it's about the way you laugh, and the way he looks at you, and the way he talks to you. It's about this invincible aura that lets us know when to go.

We have this blurred, skewed way of viewing the other person's interactions in a way that let's us believe that we are sure to avoid rejection. I would like to believe that it is just that simple; that a few glances, a few laughs, a little good time makes for a beautiful relationship, but I am inclined to think that this sets us up for a friendship, that though has the undertones of what we might call a relationship, is actually a person that we genuinely get along with as a friend.

Girls always talk about how they never have guy friends and how guys never like them, blah blah blah. I have a hunch that it is because these girls, who are so eager to read signs as a green light to go for the guy are actually getting the green light to be friends with the guy. And when these girls actually go for it, and then are inevitable rejected, they lose the chance to be friends with a great person. Sometimes, when one wants to build a relationship, it might make a little more sense to be friends with a guy, to have fun, and enjoy the guy as a friend, rather than forcing the idea of a relationship on him when you don't even know him. I could be wrong but I feel like this has some merit. Instead of trying to boyfriend everything we see, maybe we should try to just friend everything we see, and just that. No ulterior motives, no hidden agendas, just a girl being a friend with a guy. And who knows, this process could lead to much more.