What separates the wheat from the chaff when it comes to friends?

To me, the word friend is a very loosely thrown around word. For me, it's easy to call most people friend, because to me a friend can be a person who I am cool with, and I can have a decent conversation. I'm not one of those people who says it's really hard for you to be my friend, and that if I don't talk to you, nothing personal, but I just don't f@#$ with most people, because I do.

The distinction for me lies in how much you really know about me, how much I let you in. I can talk to a lot of people, but there comes a point where I just put up a wall and say that's it. That's all you get to know. Sometimes I want to let people know what the deal is, tell them about myself, but if the trust is not quite there, if there is a vibe, an aura, an inkling that just tells me I can't quite trust you completely, I immediately shut down.

What's deceptive is that I am so outgoing, and so lively, and so extroverted, that most people don't even recognize it; they don't even realize that in a 30 min conversation, I haven't said anything worthwhile about myself. This comes from years of building; brick after brick going up until the wall was in place and strong. As an after I built a door, but it's a trick door so only persistent people can figure it out and come in.

If you are in, then you're a really good friend. You are trustworthy and kind, and I have a lot of faith in you.

But you will probably never be my best friend. It takes A LOT for me to call anyone or thing my best friend because those come and go. I can't trust that deeply yet, so I'm content, at this point, to have a lot of friends, a few good friends, and no best friend.

So to answer the question, what separates the wheat from the chaff when it comes to friends? Trust. Your gut tells you right then and there if trust can ever grow, and if you know it can, nurture that friendship and let it grow past friend to good friend. If your gut tells you not so much, then maybe be a friend or no friend at all. But trust is something that you can recognize initially, just listen.

Ask me anything