This Close.

Have you ever felt truly unappreciated?

I'm talking about those times when you truly put yourself out there, when you wear that shirt with a little bit more boob or that tight skirt and know that this is your time to be recognized, it's your time to let him know how you feel, and right when the time is right, you watch the person who you were going to make yours fall right into the arms of another girl.

It's like that scene from 27 Dresses when Jane finally gets up the nerve to tell George that she loves him, after she thinks that he sent her flowers. She is so excited and ready to let him know exactly she fells, how she felt about him, and right when she is about to let him know, he finds the eyes of her sister. Jane can't even be properly feel bad because neither her sister nor her boss (George) know how she feels, so she walks away, sad and dejected at the turn of events.

For most of the movie, Jane still longs for the man she can't have, torn up by the time she spent longing after him, while trying to muster the strength to be the bigger person and be happy for her sister, but in the end, the attempts wind up blowing up in her face. I often times, if not every time find myself in a place where I almost find the nerve to finally let him know, finally give him my heart and mind, and right in the nick of time, he finds my friend or my teammate or my dog...basically anyone who is close enough to me, but not quite.

Jane does eventually realize that the person who was there the whole time was actually the one, but that's a romantic comedy ending, and life just isn't about that. Life is about the moments where life lures you into thinking that things are going your way, and snatching the rug from under your thoughts and hopes. Yeah, that sounds right about right.

Bitter sounding? Maybe. Real? Most definitely. I keep telling myself that eventually this will stop happening, but at this point, I'm starting to lose hope and faith in this, and it's getting harder and harder to keep my chin up. I'm this close to throwing in the towel because the pain that I tell myself won't happen because nothing actually happened is more than real.