Friendships
This is something that I have been shaky about from as long as I can remember. I had this thing where I got attached to a person, and then they would leave, or I would leave, or we would leave. Basically, we would be best of friends one year, and then there was a switch to just a passing glance and no more. I used to be upset and confused by this, and by used to, I mean like yesterday. But then I thought about it:
I'm pretty sure plenty of people go through the same thing, the situation where things change and people change. And while they might not have experienced it to the degree that I might have, we have all been there, so I'm not that special. Instead, I took the time to reflect on the friends I have now.
While, in the past, I would normally start panicking about how they would not be my friends in the future, I decided today, now, that I'm just going to enjoy my friends in the state they are, in the here and now. It's typical for me to question everything, and wonder why I am friends with these people and better yet why they are friends with me? What makes me so special that you want to invite me to things? That you want to include me in things? That you actually want my opinion?
The sheer fact that it happens again and again, and that my presence is a necessity, is something that I have craved for years, and now that I have that, I just want to bask in that. I have great friends. Solid. After I was emo-ly (this is a word) wondering why I didn't have any best friends, someone told me that no one has a friend that they can be everything with. No one has that person that they can go to when they want to do anything, that friend that they can play sports with, and shop with, and listen to that strange band with, but that's how its supposed to be.
We are meant to have a support GROUP not a support person, so instead of me sitting and pontificating about how sad I am, and how depressed I am, I'm going to appreciate the core that makes up my friends now, and call it a day.
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