#1

For the short years that I have been on this planet, I have had the great (mis)fortune to run across my fair share of creepers, I mean characters, I mean creepers. Then my boss pointed out, why don't you write these stories down because they are ACTUALLY ridiculous, so alas, consider the stories documented.

#1: My problems started in elementary. There's always that weird kid in class, and my class was not exception. Of course the weird kid fancied himself in some kind of sick and strange love with me. Yay? So for most of my grade school career, I found ways to avoid contact, speech, and shared space with him, because I wanted so badly to be normal, and being liked by the weird kid is not normal. So this all culminated to 5th grade. He gave me a Christmas gift. He had picked it special for me. Of course, 10 year old me was not too keen on receiving gifts from "that" kid, so I kindly returned it. He then gave the gift to the teacher. She made an example to the whole class of how not to return gifts like someone did. Sweet. This caused some type of anger with me, and he finally asked me point blank if I liked him. I told him no, so he proceeded to threaten to blow up our elementary school. This story ends with this little boy being escorted from the school in handcuffs during a school assembly in the cafeteria.

I can't make this stuff up. This is my life.