School started so life is going faster than I know what to deal with but such is life and yada yada yada.
What if you got the chance or opportunity to be confronted with something that you wanted so badly it hurt? What if someone told you, show up to this place and everything you want will be waiting? Would you really be willing to go to that? To actively pursue what you wanted? Or would the fear of being fooled or juked hold you back?
I wanna say I would grab life by the balls and roll with it, but something of this nature has occurred, and frankly, I'm scared. As much as I would like to walk up to my dream and say, yes, absolutely, I'm waiting, I don't know if I can. I want to hide from it, because my dream has hurt me and my pride before, and to do that again would be suicide.
But with all this, I still want in. I still want to go and say that everything I want is there waiting for me, and that I am happy because of it, and that my life has changed. So I'm walking in, heart open, and mind ready. Here goes nothing.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Between A Rock And A Hard Place
Is there something that's bigger than a crush, but not quite love?
Can what you feel for a person go deeper than just a crush, but you don't know the person enough to quite call it love? It's almost like when you see that person, or you think of that person you get happy and sad and mad and glad. You think of the wonderful things, and you think of the terrible things, and you think of the things that literally tear you up inside. You think of the time that that person made you laugh, and you can't help but laugh, and then because you laugh, you cry because this person most likely won't know.
You see, you are stuck in this awkward spot with this person, because what you feel for this person is irrational. To the logical person, to your own logical mind, this does not make a lick of sense. You want to say that everything has it's place and that you can explain this, but there are no words for this.
Maybe you have only seen this person a hand full of times, but when were together, what was there was so real, that it actually hurts. Maybe you know this person well, and there is something so established as friendship, that you won't let yourself go farther. Maybe you know this person wants someone else while you want them, and there is no chance for you to get them. Maybe a handshake and a smile set you off, and you can't even think straight when just the thought or mention of them crosses your path.
And the biggest problem is that this is an awkward places, because crushes are fun and they give you butterflies and something to happily obsess about, and when you are in love, that's an all consuming time in your life where you are happy to follow the person, to do whatever they want with an open mind and heart. This limbo sucks because you are past the point of having fun, and pass the point of butterflies, and you are not able to trespasses into the land of in-love bliss. You having feeling of dread and want and hope that the person will magically see you, like SEE you, and know that you are it, but you know that this isn't happening and you know it.
What do you do? Nothing really. You just live with it, and take it one day at a time, and as the saying goes, time heals all wounds.
Can what you feel for a person go deeper than just a crush, but you don't know the person enough to quite call it love? It's almost like when you see that person, or you think of that person you get happy and sad and mad and glad. You think of the wonderful things, and you think of the terrible things, and you think of the things that literally tear you up inside. You think of the time that that person made you laugh, and you can't help but laugh, and then because you laugh, you cry because this person most likely won't know.
You see, you are stuck in this awkward spot with this person, because what you feel for this person is irrational. To the logical person, to your own logical mind, this does not make a lick of sense. You want to say that everything has it's place and that you can explain this, but there are no words for this.
Maybe you have only seen this person a hand full of times, but when were together, what was there was so real, that it actually hurts. Maybe you know this person well, and there is something so established as friendship, that you won't let yourself go farther. Maybe you know this person wants someone else while you want them, and there is no chance for you to get them. Maybe a handshake and a smile set you off, and you can't even think straight when just the thought or mention of them crosses your path.
And the biggest problem is that this is an awkward places, because crushes are fun and they give you butterflies and something to happily obsess about, and when you are in love, that's an all consuming time in your life where you are happy to follow the person, to do whatever they want with an open mind and heart. This limbo sucks because you are past the point of having fun, and pass the point of butterflies, and you are not able to trespasses into the land of in-love bliss. You having feeling of dread and want and hope that the person will magically see you, like SEE you, and know that you are it, but you know that this isn't happening and you know it.
What do you do? Nothing really. You just live with it, and take it one day at a time, and as the saying goes, time heals all wounds.
Distractions Are A Good Thing?
School started. This is a time when distractions reign free. Embrace them.
You fight to forget something in the summer, because you have the time to think, and live, and be free, and be happy, and be hurt. However, during the school year, this leisure goes away and that's not such a bad thing. Maybe it's time to forget, and get distracted. Maybe it's time for classes to consume your every thought. Dinner plans to sop up whatever is left. Going out demands it's own spread of attention. Not to mention extracurriculars.
The school year is the time to forget, and remember what ever you want. This is the time when prioritizing is such a necessity, that everything can't make the list of what you want to think about. Sure you could spend time obsessing about that boy or girl, but there is sooooo much to be distracted by. Yeah, the problem will still be there, but eventually, if you keep moving forward, focusing on what you want, time naturally fades what once seemed to consumed every spare thought you had floating around.
The summer was when every little thing seemed so important, and every plea seemed desperate, and every hope seemed singular, but now that school has officially kicked off, focus on school, and let yourself be the thing that drives your action, because worrying school and all it's nuances are enough stress for now.
You fight to forget something in the summer, because you have the time to think, and live, and be free, and be happy, and be hurt. However, during the school year, this leisure goes away and that's not such a bad thing. Maybe it's time to forget, and get distracted. Maybe it's time for classes to consume your every thought. Dinner plans to sop up whatever is left. Going out demands it's own spread of attention. Not to mention extracurriculars.
The school year is the time to forget, and remember what ever you want. This is the time when prioritizing is such a necessity, that everything can't make the list of what you want to think about. Sure you could spend time obsessing about that boy or girl, but there is sooooo much to be distracted by. Yeah, the problem will still be there, but eventually, if you keep moving forward, focusing on what you want, time naturally fades what once seemed to consumed every spare thought you had floating around.
The summer was when every little thing seemed so important, and every plea seemed desperate, and every hope seemed singular, but now that school has officially kicked off, focus on school, and let yourself be the thing that drives your action, because worrying school and all it's nuances are enough stress for now.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Coincidence? I Think Not.
I believe that things, ALL things, happen for a reason.
Nothing is coincidence. There is a purpose for every action, and whenever something is strangely uncanny and oddly perfect, that's because it was supposed to happen. There are reason that there are these gut feelings, these innate reactions that we can't help, these situations that we can't explain, reasons which I won't explain here, but feel free to come and ask, and I will be more than happy to let you know.
There are too many people on this planet to every have a chance meeting. The odds of that happening are so slim, that there are greater hands at work, so with this said I ponder. Say something or someone happens to you, long ago. This thing or person for some reason strikes a chord. You don't know it or them, but there is some strange attraction to it. You can't help but somehow want more of that thing, but you can't explain why.
Now say, this thing goes away for a while like a year or maybe years. There is no contact no nothing to remind you of this thing. Whatever. Then one day, you are accosted by this thing, this magnetic force. You pay it no mind, because you think it's nothing. That strong draw was old, not relevant, but for some reason, not even related to you, this thing winds up right back in your lap, literally....
I said I don't believe in coincidences.
How oh how does it happen that of all things in the world, and all the people, and of all the places, and of all the situations, that you reunite with this thing that feels so right, so ideal and perfect it's sickening. That is the funniest and best and most fantastic feeling in the world. It confirms what you felt about this thing is not one-sided it's mutual, and that confirmation is so overwhelming great.
This is the problem, what do you do when this "thing" cycles it's way back into your life? Do you let it go, calling it some kind of wonderful and leaving it as a wonderful experience? Or do you take the risk to explore where this "thing" could go? The problem with one, is that you are left with the what ifs, wondering if you tried. The problem with two that inevitably it has to be a joint effort; both sides have to want it, and that may not be case.
In the end, all we can do is just be thankful for that chance to feel completely at peace. Whether or not you wind up exploring more or not, what is meant to happen will happen. We can't force something unnatural, because then eventually we end up exactly as we are meant to be. If it feels wrong, it probably is. Once again, I don't believe in coincidences, so if its meant to happen, it will. Don't pressure it, don't wait for it, don't expect it, just live life and appreciate what comes along. If there is an overwhelming feeling to do something more then follow that or you will regret it. If something says walk away, walk away with smile.
Nothing is coincidence. There is a purpose for every action, and whenever something is strangely uncanny and oddly perfect, that's because it was supposed to happen. There are reason that there are these gut feelings, these innate reactions that we can't help, these situations that we can't explain, reasons which I won't explain here, but feel free to come and ask, and I will be more than happy to let you know.
There are too many people on this planet to every have a chance meeting. The odds of that happening are so slim, that there are greater hands at work, so with this said I ponder. Say something or someone happens to you, long ago. This thing or person for some reason strikes a chord. You don't know it or them, but there is some strange attraction to it. You can't help but somehow want more of that thing, but you can't explain why.
Now say, this thing goes away for a while like a year or maybe years. There is no contact no nothing to remind you of this thing. Whatever. Then one day, you are accosted by this thing, this magnetic force. You pay it no mind, because you think it's nothing. That strong draw was old, not relevant, but for some reason, not even related to you, this thing winds up right back in your lap, literally....
I said I don't believe in coincidences.
How oh how does it happen that of all things in the world, and all the people, and of all the places, and of all the situations, that you reunite with this thing that feels so right, so ideal and perfect it's sickening. That is the funniest and best and most fantastic feeling in the world. It confirms what you felt about this thing is not one-sided it's mutual, and that confirmation is so overwhelming great.
This is the problem, what do you do when this "thing" cycles it's way back into your life? Do you let it go, calling it some kind of wonderful and leaving it as a wonderful experience? Or do you take the risk to explore where this "thing" could go? The problem with one, is that you are left with the what ifs, wondering if you tried. The problem with two that inevitably it has to be a joint effort; both sides have to want it, and that may not be case.
In the end, all we can do is just be thankful for that chance to feel completely at peace. Whether or not you wind up exploring more or not, what is meant to happen will happen. We can't force something unnatural, because then eventually we end up exactly as we are meant to be. If it feels wrong, it probably is. Once again, I don't believe in coincidences, so if its meant to happen, it will. Don't pressure it, don't wait for it, don't expect it, just live life and appreciate what comes along. If there is an overwhelming feeling to do something more then follow that or you will regret it. If something says walk away, walk away with smile.
#14, #15
#14: I was sitting in the New Orleans airport, thinking I was safe and sound from the eyeing creeps in New York. FALSE. I wasn't in the state for 30 minutes before some old, crusty dude comes up to me. He says, "Hey you listening to good music?" To which I answer yeah. He asks what. So I say Usher. Then he launches into where I'm from. I tell him I am from New Orleans (a lie), born and raised. He says, well you sound like us. He asks what my business was, and I told him I am visiting home before I go back to school. He says, "You sound like them up there." To which I answer, well I was born and raised in New Orleans. He tells me I have their attitude, but I thought I would just say hello because you are beautiful. I can't help but crack a smile, and he says yeah that's it.
Do I know you sir? I don't think so.
#15: My roommate and I were sitting in a train on the way back from a relaxing beach trip. Now the beach we go to is in what I like to call Little Russia, so of course the train has it's fair share of Russians, creepers and otherwise. Now this did not happen to me, but it was too much for me not to address. There is this man who plops down between my friend and I, with the "I wanna chat you up look," so my roommate and I try to avoid this as much as possible, but the creep hears a lull, and pounces. He starts with asking about the lotion we just used, and then he goes in for the kill, basically asking my roommate if she's married or if she's slightly available, to which she says no, because she's going abroad. He says, well you don't do long distance, and she says no. He then asks when she's leaving and where she's living. He is trying to insert himself all up in the business, where he is not wanted. He was a creeper not because he wasn't genuine, but because he did SOOOO MUCH in that train ride that it was memorable. Thanks creep.
Do I know you sir? I don't think so.
#15: My roommate and I were sitting in a train on the way back from a relaxing beach trip. Now the beach we go to is in what I like to call Little Russia, so of course the train has it's fair share of Russians, creepers and otherwise. Now this did not happen to me, but it was too much for me not to address. There is this man who plops down between my friend and I, with the "I wanna chat you up look," so my roommate and I try to avoid this as much as possible, but the creep hears a lull, and pounces. He starts with asking about the lotion we just used, and then he goes in for the kill, basically asking my roommate if she's married or if she's slightly available, to which she says no, because she's going abroad. He says, well you don't do long distance, and she says no. He then asks when she's leaving and where she's living. He is trying to insert himself all up in the business, where he is not wanted. He was a creeper not because he wasn't genuine, but because he did SOOOO MUCH in that train ride that it was memorable. Thanks creep.
So I Have Been A Little Emo Lately, NO MORE
Friendships
This is something that I have been shaky about from as long as I can remember. I had this thing where I got attached to a person, and then they would leave, or I would leave, or we would leave. Basically, we would be best of friends one year, and then there was a switch to just a passing glance and no more. I used to be upset and confused by this, and by used to, I mean like yesterday. But then I thought about it:
I'm pretty sure plenty of people go through the same thing, the situation where things change and people change. And while they might not have experienced it to the degree that I might have, we have all been there, so I'm not that special. Instead, I took the time to reflect on the friends I have now.
While, in the past, I would normally start panicking about how they would not be my friends in the future, I decided today, now, that I'm just going to enjoy my friends in the state they are, in the here and now. It's typical for me to question everything, and wonder why I am friends with these people and better yet why they are friends with me? What makes me so special that you want to invite me to things? That you want to include me in things? That you actually want my opinion?
The sheer fact that it happens again and again, and that my presence is a necessity, is something that I have craved for years, and now that I have that, I just want to bask in that. I have great friends. Solid. After I was emo-ly (this is a word) wondering why I didn't have any best friends, someone told me that no one has a friend that they can be everything with. No one has that person that they can go to when they want to do anything, that friend that they can play sports with, and shop with, and listen to that strange band with, but that's how its supposed to be.
We are meant to have a support GROUP not a support person, so instead of me sitting and pontificating about how sad I am, and how depressed I am, I'm going to appreciate the core that makes up my friends now, and call it a day.
This is something that I have been shaky about from as long as I can remember. I had this thing where I got attached to a person, and then they would leave, or I would leave, or we would leave. Basically, we would be best of friends one year, and then there was a switch to just a passing glance and no more. I used to be upset and confused by this, and by used to, I mean like yesterday. But then I thought about it:
I'm pretty sure plenty of people go through the same thing, the situation where things change and people change. And while they might not have experienced it to the degree that I might have, we have all been there, so I'm not that special. Instead, I took the time to reflect on the friends I have now.
While, in the past, I would normally start panicking about how they would not be my friends in the future, I decided today, now, that I'm just going to enjoy my friends in the state they are, in the here and now. It's typical for me to question everything, and wonder why I am friends with these people and better yet why they are friends with me? What makes me so special that you want to invite me to things? That you want to include me in things? That you actually want my opinion?
The sheer fact that it happens again and again, and that my presence is a necessity, is something that I have craved for years, and now that I have that, I just want to bask in that. I have great friends. Solid. After I was emo-ly (this is a word) wondering why I didn't have any best friends, someone told me that no one has a friend that they can be everything with. No one has that person that they can go to when they want to do anything, that friend that they can play sports with, and shop with, and listen to that strange band with, but that's how its supposed to be.
We are meant to have a support GROUP not a support person, so instead of me sitting and pontificating about how sad I am, and how depressed I am, I'm going to appreciate the core that makes up my friends now, and call it a day.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
My Oh My Oh My Oh, My Booooo
"There's always that one person that will always have your heart. You never see it coming cause you're blinded from the start."
How many of us can relate?
Whether it's your first love or your biggest crush, when you look back on them or look right at them, you feel the same love sick way you always have. It's a little sickening, but can't help it because if you could, you soo would. It's like, why would you ever pine after a guy or girl that you know you will never be with, when you could go for the nice, safe choice, the one who you know will treat you well, and always love you? However, that would mean that life is easy and safe, and thats just nonsense.
If you think about it, there is that one person who you were in love with (and still are) and it's an interesting feeling. You have butterflies and your head starts to hurt, and you wanna impress them so badly. You wanna talk for hours and kiss them, and just be held by them, and you know that is never going to happen. Now a more positive person would say why couldn't you be with them, but you can simply say it's not really meant to be. That person does not see you like that, and while you could put yourself out there, what good would that do you, but drive the stake even further in your heart.
What I'm trying to say, is that there is always that one person who will always have your heart, and that's okay. You can love someone else, you can move on and live a healthy life. It's natural and expect, and life would not be life if it was any other way.
How many of us can relate?
Whether it's your first love or your biggest crush, when you look back on them or look right at them, you feel the same love sick way you always have. It's a little sickening, but can't help it because if you could, you soo would. It's like, why would you ever pine after a guy or girl that you know you will never be with, when you could go for the nice, safe choice, the one who you know will treat you well, and always love you? However, that would mean that life is easy and safe, and thats just nonsense.
If you think about it, there is that one person who you were in love with (and still are) and it's an interesting feeling. You have butterflies and your head starts to hurt, and you wanna impress them so badly. You wanna talk for hours and kiss them, and just be held by them, and you know that is never going to happen. Now a more positive person would say why couldn't you be with them, but you can simply say it's not really meant to be. That person does not see you like that, and while you could put yourself out there, what good would that do you, but drive the stake even further in your heart.
What I'm trying to say, is that there is always that one person who will always have your heart, and that's okay. You can love someone else, you can move on and live a healthy life. It's natural and expect, and life would not be life if it was any other way.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Going, Going, Gone
What happens when the passion is gone?
From a relationship, from a hobby, from your life?
The passion is gone. Not officially, but from the looks of it, it seems as though the chapter has ended on that portion of my life. While I want to remain passionate, and I want to say that this is what I want to do, and while I have put in hundreds of hours of time and effort and thought, I just don't want to do it anymore. I feel like when I return, a piece of me is lost, lost in the need to complete something, and not the desire to do well. I want to say that it all seems worth it in the end, that maybe going back to it again and again will some how pay off, but it's not.
Sometimes you say, let me give it more time, another year, another chance, and when that chance disappoints you more than before, when do u decide that it's time to stop, that the time to keep trying has ended. I once thought that this hobby of mine would take me places, that I could capitalize on an ability that very few could boast, but after beating this horse for a few years, when do I realize that it's dead?
And while I want to so desperately let go, I keep thinking, maybe this time will be different. Maybe there could be some change, maybe, if I try harder, and put in more thought, and give it my all, maybe then the passion will return, but even in my moments of short lived success, there is still an dissatisfaction. And what makes it all harder is when you see the other things you could do, when you get a taste, a whiff, of life outside this time-consuming "passion", and the liberation that you could experience, you wanna give up the fight. You wanna move on to bigger and better things, but you can't because what if they aren't as big and good as you thought? What if your mind changes? What if you miss what you once thought you were?
I have built my life around this hobby, and here I am, wanting to rip the rug from under what was once a sound operation. I want to make everyone happy, but what if making everyone meant I lost who I was as a person. I want to make myself happy, but what if that means I lose who I am as a person. Which loss is greater? I want to discover who I am and who I could be, but with this burden on my back I can't. So the question remains, should I give up everything I have am to see what I can become, or should I keep everything I have become because this is who I am?
From a relationship, from a hobby, from your life?
The passion is gone. Not officially, but from the looks of it, it seems as though the chapter has ended on that portion of my life. While I want to remain passionate, and I want to say that this is what I want to do, and while I have put in hundreds of hours of time and effort and thought, I just don't want to do it anymore. I feel like when I return, a piece of me is lost, lost in the need to complete something, and not the desire to do well. I want to say that it all seems worth it in the end, that maybe going back to it again and again will some how pay off, but it's not.
Sometimes you say, let me give it more time, another year, another chance, and when that chance disappoints you more than before, when do u decide that it's time to stop, that the time to keep trying has ended. I once thought that this hobby of mine would take me places, that I could capitalize on an ability that very few could boast, but after beating this horse for a few years, when do I realize that it's dead?
And while I want to so desperately let go, I keep thinking, maybe this time will be different. Maybe there could be some change, maybe, if I try harder, and put in more thought, and give it my all, maybe then the passion will return, but even in my moments of short lived success, there is still an dissatisfaction. And what makes it all harder is when you see the other things you could do, when you get a taste, a whiff, of life outside this time-consuming "passion", and the liberation that you could experience, you wanna give up the fight. You wanna move on to bigger and better things, but you can't because what if they aren't as big and good as you thought? What if your mind changes? What if you miss what you once thought you were?
I have built my life around this hobby, and here I am, wanting to rip the rug from under what was once a sound operation. I want to make everyone happy, but what if making everyone meant I lost who I was as a person. I want to make myself happy, but what if that means I lose who I am as a person. Which loss is greater? I want to discover who I am and who I could be, but with this burden on my back I can't. So the question remains, should I give up everything I have am to see what I can become, or should I keep everything I have become because this is who I am?
#13
For the short years that I have been on this planet, I have had the great (mis)fortune to run across my fair share of creepers, I mean characters, I mean creepers. Then my boss pointed out, why don't you write these stories down because they are ACTUALLY ridiculous, so alas, consider the stories documented.
#13: So my roommate and I were walking through Harlem yesterday, minding our own business. We were chatting about the days events and what we were planning. If any girl has ever walked through Harlem, they know that men are more than happy to let the girl know how much he "appreciates" her presence. And when there are groups of men, there is actually no way to avoid the stares and catcalls. So there was a group of two guys. One with a shirt on, and of course who decided to do without. So they walk by, and of course, one HAS to reach out and touch me. Yes, another man felt compelled to grab my arm. Am I wearing a hidden FONDLE ME sign that somehow appeals to the all the men in New York?! What if I was alone at night? I would soo be raped, and that worries me.
#13: So my roommate and I were walking through Harlem yesterday, minding our own business. We were chatting about the days events and what we were planning. If any girl has ever walked through Harlem, they know that men are more than happy to let the girl know how much he "appreciates" her presence. And when there are groups of men, there is actually no way to avoid the stares and catcalls. So there was a group of two guys. One with a shirt on, and of course who decided to do without. So they walk by, and of course, one HAS to reach out and touch me. Yes, another man felt compelled to grab my arm. Am I wearing a hidden FONDLE ME sign that somehow appeals to the all the men in New York?! What if I was alone at night? I would soo be raped, and that worries me.
JoJo "I Hate Love" (with comments)
Tired of being in the when am I gon find love club.
Woah. Me too.
I come close get a dose but it just ain't enough.
I think that I have it in my hand, but it slips away
Right guy wrong time right time wrong guy.
MY FAVORITE LINE OF THE SONG
What's the use? Why even try?
maybe i should give up...What's the rush
Gettin caught up
And then it's over.
Why try, why attempt, because nothing ever comes of it.
Now im crushed, and I'm crying and there's no shoulder.
Crying here alone.
It plays out so different in my dream.
Things ain't always what they seem.
And that's why...
I don't get all excited when somebody brings me flowers.
Ain't gon be sittin on my phone more than an hour.
I'm tired of waiting around for someone to woo me
It hurts but I still run to it.
all they do is hurt, but yet I want more.
Oh I hate love, I hate love..
Scared of what it does to me but I just got to have it.
It beats me, it ruins me, but yet I come back
Been right in my reach but for some reason I can't grab it.
I can see it, I can taste it, and yet so far away
Love keeps hating on me, so I hate love...I hate love.
Don't wanna hear nobody tellin me they needin more time.
I don't want to be on his clock waiting for him
Questionin, where I been, all up in mine...
But he wants to control me?
New guy old lines, old guy new lies..
Same crap, different guys
Don't know why I even try.
What's the rush...Gettin caught up, and then it's over.
Now im crushed...and im crying, and theres no shoulder.
It plays out so different in my dreams.
Thing ain't always what they seem...
And that's why..
I don't get all excited when somebody brings me flowers.
Ain't gon be sittin on my phone more than an hour.
It hurts but I still run to it.
Oh I hate love, I hate love..
Scared of what it does to me but I just got to have it.
Been right in my reach but for some reason I can't grab it.
Love keeps hating on me, so I hate love...I hate love.
The more that I say it...the less that I mean it.
I'm still trying to convince myself, but its getting easier
I just want somebody for me
And the more that I see it
The more that I want it
I'm still hopeful, but people keep ruining my trust
But I need something that makes me believe
They tell me one day, it will be worth the wait
If I keep hoping, maybe this time it will be my turn
But I don't want to hurt on the way
So im not gon settle
But I don't want love any old way, I want the right one so I will wait.
I know better
So understand what I say
I hate I hate love L.O.V.E I hate
I don't get all excited when somebody brings me flowers
Ain't gon be sittin on my phone more than an hour
It hurts but I still run to it
Oh I hate love I hate love..
Scared of what it does to me but I just got to have
Been right in my face but for some reason I can't grab it
Love keeps hattin on me
So I hate love I hate love...
Woah. Me too.
I come close get a dose but it just ain't enough.
I think that I have it in my hand, but it slips away
Right guy wrong time right time wrong guy.
MY FAVORITE LINE OF THE SONG
What's the use? Why even try?
maybe i should give up...What's the rush
Gettin caught up
And then it's over.
Why try, why attempt, because nothing ever comes of it.
Now im crushed, and I'm crying and there's no shoulder.
Crying here alone.
It plays out so different in my dream.
Things ain't always what they seem.
And that's why...
I don't get all excited when somebody brings me flowers.
Ain't gon be sittin on my phone more than an hour.
I'm tired of waiting around for someone to woo me
It hurts but I still run to it.
all they do is hurt, but yet I want more.
Oh I hate love, I hate love..
Scared of what it does to me but I just got to have it.
It beats me, it ruins me, but yet I come back
Been right in my reach but for some reason I can't grab it.
I can see it, I can taste it, and yet so far away
Love keeps hating on me, so I hate love...I hate love.
Don't wanna hear nobody tellin me they needin more time.
I don't want to be on his clock waiting for him
Questionin, where I been, all up in mine...
But he wants to control me?
New guy old lines, old guy new lies..
Same crap, different guys
Don't know why I even try.
What's the rush...Gettin caught up, and then it's over.
Now im crushed...and im crying, and theres no shoulder.
It plays out so different in my dreams.
Thing ain't always what they seem...
And that's why..
I don't get all excited when somebody brings me flowers.
Ain't gon be sittin on my phone more than an hour.
It hurts but I still run to it.
Oh I hate love, I hate love..
Scared of what it does to me but I just got to have it.
Been right in my reach but for some reason I can't grab it.
Love keeps hating on me, so I hate love...I hate love.
The more that I say it...the less that I mean it.
I'm still trying to convince myself, but its getting easier
I just want somebody for me
And the more that I see it
The more that I want it
I'm still hopeful, but people keep ruining my trust
But I need something that makes me believe
They tell me one day, it will be worth the wait
If I keep hoping, maybe this time it will be my turn
But I don't want to hurt on the way
So im not gon settle
But I don't want love any old way, I want the right one so I will wait.
I know better
So understand what I say
I hate I hate love L.O.V.E I hate
I don't get all excited when somebody brings me flowers
Ain't gon be sittin on my phone more than an hour
It hurts but I still run to it
Oh I hate love I hate love..
Scared of what it does to me but I just got to have
Been right in my face but for some reason I can't grab it
Love keeps hattin on me
So I hate love I hate love...
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